mending

The flowers you gave me withered away — along with your claims of love for me. I widened my eyes to you, asking you to look at me: not just the illustration of my body. Instead, you imagined me away. Putting a shadow over me that darkened the brightness of me.

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Mother - Part 3

Sometimes I lie in bed and fantasize about Death. I know Death must be a woman, her loving caress is much too gentle and controlled to be the heavy hand of a man. If I close my eyes and lay still enough, I can see Death. I wonder when she will come for me, and why it has not been sooner. Like all beautiful things, Death is cruel. Death plays with patience and toys with sorrow. Once I stole my mother's garden shears, and I considered forcing Death's hand. I should have known Death would not be a compassionate lover, but rather a heartbreaker.

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Mother - Part 2

My mother didn’t respond. She simply walked back inside and dead-bolted the door behind her. She stood behind the locked door and looked into my eyes. I could not tell you what she was hoping she would find. I myself searched every inch of her body for some sort of compassion or motherly love, something to give me a reason to still love her. She walked away before I could find what I wanted.

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Mother - Part 1

“I often regret the anger I harbored for my mother. Yet, I still cannot let it go. I have eaten anger for dinner for so many nights, it is all that's left in my stomach. I have washed my hair with anger for so long, it is now permanently woven into the braids of my hair. I have taken my tea with anger for years now, I am no longer pleased with just sugar. I am not sure how I would live without anger. How could I forgive my mother and give away my anger when I know there will be nothing left of me after?”

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October 13th

In my second year of university, I lived by myself. I woke up with no one beside me, went to lectures alone with the fear of having to speak, and fell asleep with a mind that never rested. This string of haikus is meant to represent the anxiety and fear I felt every day during my morning, my evening, and my night.

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Once An Abuser, Always An Abuser

“This poem means a lot to me because it was written at a time I felt my most vulnerable. I believe this piece will help other people who’ve gone through a similar situation feel less alone. Although it was painful to write, as it is painful to read, I do hope others can find a sense of relief and peace, that they might not have found during their time of grievance.”

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Nauliapoetry, abuseComment
to: me, from: me

your mind has become plagued, filled with questions

thinking of the endless possibilities of who you are and who you want to be.

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Raven
Thoughts

Inspired by Vietnamese-American poet and essayist Ocean Vuong, specifically, his piece Notebook Fragments featured in his poetry collections Night Sky with Exit Wounds.

“Should I become a doctor? No. I don’t want to go to medical school. Maybe I could be a scientist? I hate chemistry. A writer? I don’t think my family would want that. Possibly an accountant? Definitely not.”

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