identity — ASHAMED

The Importance of Leaving Ones’ Teenage Years Behind

As much as everything scares me, as much as change and the lack of permanency sends chills down my spine, a part of me longs for what I don’t know yet. Isn’t it beautiful to have an entire life waiting for you with open arms? To know you can start over? The only thing that’s temporary about adulthood is the fact that I’m in it for as long as I live. I haven’t lived through my best days or met everyone I’ll ever love or seen every beautiful thing I’ll ever see, and to think adulthood will automatically rip that away from me is not to trust myself. It’s not naive to dream of better days.

identityNilo KhamaniMarch 8, 2021teenagehood Comments

Reconciling my Turkish Identity

By the time I went back to Istanbul, I was pretty disconnected from Turkish culture, partly because I simply hadn’t been there in so long, and partly because I wanted to be disconnected from it. However, I didn’t realize the gravity of this until I tried to give directions to a cab driver in Istanbul, and I must have had a pretty heavy accent because he asked me if I was a foreigner. The question hit me like a punch. Me, a foreigner? In the city that I grew up in? I admit I was quite offended at first, but it was just what I needed to start to evaluate the past few years and reconsider my relationship with my home country.

identityEda. SOctober 22, 2020Turkish, identityComment

My Body Insecurities Make Me Feel Like a Bad Feminist.

Feminism has been amplified; it has been morphed and it has been separated, perhaps more now than ever. The current situation is that feminism now has a monetary allure, it has been appropriated by brands to sell in the capitalist marketplace. Many of these body positive ‘quick fixes’ stand against many basic tenements of feminism advocated for by women of colour - an intersectional approach that prioritises community strength and creative uplift, standing in defiance to the exploitative capitalist marketplace.

identityashamedmagazineOctober 13, 2020fatphobia, diet culture, whiteness Comment

Society Put Us in Boxes, but We Are Outsiders

I speak two languages but only one of them well. My Vietnamese is broken, and never mind that I get A-pluses in English, I get made fun of by my relatives for not being able to maintain the language I learned as a kid. It’s not that their teasing words hurt me, no, it’s the fact that when my grandfather hands me a slice of his cake, I can’t articulate the words to say that I am thankful for his affection and his efforts to make me happy.

identityCindy TranSeptember 28, 2020society, boxes, asian, americanComment

Brown and Insecure

This isn’t another tale of the ugly duckling because I was appreciated by my friends and classmates who I’m extremely thankful for. Even so, it should never be okay for a young teen to feel invalidated for not possessing supposedly idealistic qualities simply because of her heritage. Seems silly, but these insecurities made me cautious and skeptical towards guys I’m interested in even today and my first immediate thoughts usually tend to be: “do they even like brown skin girls”. When you grow up in an environment that overall put white girls on a higher platform, it can be difficult to attain a solid sense of self-love.

identitySameera IlyasSeptember 18, 2020brown, insecure, Eurocentric, beauty, standards, self loveComment

Louder Than The Storm

Hula is typically slower than Ori’, but still requires the same level of strength and stamina. Both tell stories and express emotions, but Hula tends to use more hand motions as a gesture towards pillars of nature such as the sun or a flower. Whenever I dance Hula outside barefoot on the grass, I feel connected to both the outer, natural world and my inner self. It brings me peace and offers a safe space to express myself.

identityIsabella LockAugust 15, 2020polynesian culture, mental health, mixed raceComment

Hope

Sometimes I feel like a fraud, actually I almost always feel like a fraud. Is it acceptable to partake in derogatory and dehumanizing jargon in order to protect my identity? Can I call myself an activist when my mouth feels sewn shut? Can I truly be queer when everything in my culture and tradition screams against it?

identityAnonymousJune 26, 2020queer, arab, LGBTQIA+, illegal, family, acceptanceComment

IDENTITY!