All-Girls Schools Have Got to Start Protecting Their Students

CONTENT WARNING: s*xual assault and harassment mentioned throughout

I spent eight years in an all-girls Catholic school and although I had my fair share of highlights and low points, the most dominant emotion I felt within that period of time was disappointment in my teachers. Usually, it was their questionable grading system or their chronic favouritism which gave certain students an unfair advantage. Some of them would just straight-up insult me, like my fifth-grade Computer teacher who made me cry when she called me stupid in front of the whole class simply because I didn’t know how to fix her microphone. Although these authority figures were masters of intimidation, I had no problem discussing these issues with the higher-ups by coursing them through my parents—so what if it made me the topic of the faculty group chat?

My mom and dad raised me to fight for what is right regardless of who I’m up against, to not be afraid of anything as long as I was telling nothing but the truth and maintaining a certain level of respect. Thankfully, they were always more than willing to serve as the liaison between me and the administration because it was made very clear to me that no one was willing to listen to the outcries of a teenage girl. My requests were heard, primarily because they had no choice, but this didn’t translate to any long-term reform. Teachers would be kind to me but horrible to all other students just because they knew they were under my close surveillance, or they would change their methods and mannerisms just for show before completely reverting to their old ways.

I always had a problem with my school’s misplaced priorities. They had this tendency to exert an inordinate amount of effort towards such inconsequential matters. We were banned from cutting or dyeing our hair a certain style or colour, rolling up our sleeves despite having to stay in a classroom with no air conditioning and sticking our tongues out in pictures, among many other stupid rules. They argued that their code of conduct was something we had to live by if we were to turn into the young ladies they envisioned us to be and any outright violation to this was quickly met with a stern reprimand and stricter enforcement of these regulations. But when it came down to issues of actual importance, they failed to apply the same energy. Unfortunately, this kind of behaviour isn’t limited to my all-girls Catholic school, and the offences that a lot of them have covered up and remained complicit to, are far more serious than any of us could have ever imagined.

Recently, a student from another all-girls school posted a thread on Twitter, exposing her homeroom adviser from two years ago, who emotionally manipulated and even lusted after his students. Schoolmates came forward to back her claims and share stories of their own, thus emboldening girls from several other institutions within the vicinity to do the same until it turned into a full-on social media movement. The empowerment brought by the sudden provision of a safe space and support system was a joy to witness but I couldn’t help but feel heartbroken upon finding out just how many were affected, and how long most of them had to suffer in silence before being able to voice their concerns.

This just proves that an astounding number of male teachers have taken advantage of the trust placed in them to serve as our second fathers. What usually starts with unbridled attention in the form of light teasing in class or seemingly innocent touches turns into outright invasions of privacy and violations of personal boundaries. Students are on the receiving end of perverted stares when they wear articles of clothing that “reveal too much”, sexually loaded remarks disguised as jokes, and a flurry of inappropriate text messages and calls. In the end, they are silenced by way of manipulation, told that their word could single-handedly ruin his life, take away his livelihood, and force him down a spiral of deep depression. And if worst comes to worst, these young girls are even blamed for the way they were treated: after all, society dictates that men never display sexual aggression unless the victim was asking for it in the first place. Perhaps she was behaving or dressing or sitting or staring a certain way—the fact that she didn’t take any necessary precautions means she deserved it.

These authority figures know how to wield their influence to gain more of it by victimizing impressionable teenage girls who carry that trauma for the rest of their lives. The worst part of all is that schools act as enablers by keeping these predators in positions of power and providing them with a quick and quiet transfer to a different institution when faced with controversy, thus allowing them to wreak even more havoc.

Though I never personally experienced anything like this, I did have an inkling this was going on. I knew of one teacher who was so obsessed with a former student of his that he claimed that they were in a relationship and even kept her photo as his phone wallpaper like it was a testament to his inability to move on. At least four batches knew who the girl in question was. His former advisory class had complained about his unprofessional behaviour, particularly his excessive interest in their personal lives. Yet they were the ones forced to apologize to appease his fragile ego and prevent him from resigning. Although I witnessed incidents like this for myself, I had no idea how prevalent it was, primarily because of the schools’ inaction.

These all-girl Catholic schools misconstrue the beliefs stated in their religion and use them to promote an outdated, oppressive system that protects abusers and prioritizes their reputation over anything. In order to keep things in place, they become hell-bent on silencing victims and putting their futures on the line if they even think of speaking out. I remember our social media platforms being under the constant surveillance of the faculty: some of us would put all of our accounts on private and accept only people we knew and yet by some pure happenstance, some of us would get called by our advisers to discuss some rebellious statements we made on Twitter and reflect on their repercussions. Teachers would heavily scorn those who got caught and wage personal vendettas against them, regardless of the validity of their complaints, which further discouraged anybody from airing their grievances.

Shortly after all the outrage on Twitter, one of the schools under fire issued a statement hoping to address the recent turn of events and shed a light on their supposed plans of action. Unfortunately for them, this did nothing to assuage the feelings of their students, as well as all those who joined them in their fight. The administration claimed that they wanted to “redefine more deeply the meaning of justice, especially its restorative sense”. A quick Google search reveals that they are willing to do nothing but rehabilitate offenders through reconciliation with victims and the community at large. Now that the damage has been done and the role of these institutions in allowing this to happen has been brought to light, where does that leave all those affected? Could all transgressions against them be erased by a simple apology? Isn’t there something fundamentally wrong with weaponizing the boundless love and compassion Jesus practised to coddle abusers? Aren’t the victims much more deserving of this kind of support?

By responding to these demands for accountability with a “call to reflect” or a “promise to probe into these cases”, these institutions give nothing but lip service, a temporary solution to be presented then taken away once the issue has lost traction. For real change to take place, schools must get off their high horses and be willing to engage in dialogue with their students. This involves letting down their defences, acknowledging their faults, and productively utilizing the feedback given to them—even if it suggests that they let go of all archaic belief systems in favour of more progressive ways of thinking. They must implement more stringent guidelines in their recruitment process: this ensures that all those who work for them possess not only the knowledge on the subject matter but also the basic human decency expected of anyone who has to be in a room with several underage girls. Most of all, they should be at the forefront of the fight to avenge victims, investigate cases, and push for the revocation of the licenses of those proven guilty.

Of course, it’s easier said than done: with the amount of work they will have to put in to regain the confidence of those they have let down, it’s unrealistic of us to expect a complete 180 on their part in the foreseeable future. But the most difficult changes to make are indeed the most necessary. We must continue to fight for a world that believes, empowers, and protects our girls, and it is only right to start in the place that is supposed to be their second home.

By Angel Martinez

Instagram: (@angeltriestogram)

(she/her)

Blog: angeltriestoblog.tumblr.com

Edited by: Halima Jibril (@h.alimaa)

If you were affected by reading this piece here is a link to some UK based helpline and services: https://www.itv.com/thismorning/articles/sexual-harassment-helplines

Handbook of International Centers for Survivors of Sexual Assault and Harassment: https://headington-institute.org/files/international_centers_for_survivors_of_sexual_assault_45553.pdf